Ep 193: Inside a Group Coaching Call

Today, I’m doing something I’ve never done before on this podcast: I’m dropping you into the middle of one of our group coaching calls.

We had about three weeks left in the current group container when this was recorded, and as we wind down, I offer coaching to anyone who’s having difficulty deciding whether they want to continue or if they feel complete for now.

As I coached them through their decisions, these women shared the most beautiful things about themselves, the group, and the work we’ve done together. It was such a good conversation that I wanted to share it with all of you, and everyone on the call previewed the episode and gave me permission to do so. I am endlessly proud of the work I get to do, of these incredible women, and of their commitment to getting to know themselves better.

Click HERE to get the full show notes.

Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Melissa

Well, hello again, my favorite listeners and followers of the Your Favorite You podcast. I am still Melissa Parsons, your favorite general life coach for brilliant women and your favorite podcast host. Today, I'm doing something I've never done before on this podcast. I'm dropping you into the middle of one of our group coaching calls. At the time this was recorded, everyone in the group had agreed to come on the pod and discuss their experiences in the group. But we had not come up with a day in time to record yet, which we will ask them and we'll find a time where they can all come and tell us why they love coaching and what's changed in their life. But that's not what this is about. Also, at the time this was recorded, we had about three weeks left in the current coaching group container. And at this point, I've come to the practice of reminding the group that we're winding down. And I offer to help coach them if they're having difficulty deciding if they want to continue in the group, or if they feel complete for now. And I really do want them to feel good about either decision. What you're about to hear is that conversation. So after we shared our celebrations on the call, I asked them if anyone needs coaching to help them make a decision. And as I was coaching them, they were all saying the most beautiful things about themselves and about the group. And at one point, you'll hear me proclaim, damn it, I wish we were recording this for a podcast. And after we finished recording, I asked them all to listen to be sure that what they said during the call was what they wanted to be shared. And I also had my podcast producer actually send me a copy of this podcast before it ever reached anyone else's ears and everyone has listened and they have all agreed that they are happy and they are consenting to this being shared with you all. So listen in as I coach them regarding their decisions. Of course, I am endlessly proud of the work that I get to do. I am also endlessly proud of these incredible women and their commitment to get to know themselves better. I'm thrilled that they are all continuing with me as their coach in one way or another. I love the life I get to lead as they build lives and relationships with themselves that they love. I could gush and gush forever and ever, but instead I will do as I told you I was going to do and drop us in mid call right now. And you can hear from them. And of course, thank you to all of you, beautiful clients of mine for being so generous with your love and your words and your vulnerability. Here we go.

Melissa

I'm curious if anybody wants coaching on whether or not they want to continue. You don't have to get coaching about it, but yeah, go Leah. 

Leah

I feel like I do this like every round and then I keep coming back. Part of me wants to like challenge myself, if that makes sense, to just like see how I can live life like without this. I don't know if that resonates at all or makes sense. I mean, I definitely look forward to the calls. I think this is still definitely an important resource for me, so then there's definitely a part of me that's saying, are you kidding me? You absolutely still need to do this. There's always the part of me with money and can you save or invest this money in a different way? I am trying to get my podcast up and running and I'm trying to do it in a, not a big, big way, but that has someone helping me with it. So I'm thinking, okay, I need money for this hobby that I'm choosing to call it. So yeah, that's kind of where I am right now. 

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I will say this. You never need to continue coaching. You never need to. You can want to. And that can be a good enough reason for sure, right? When I say that, what comes up? 

Leah

What comes up is like, oh, I do want to. Yeah, okay. 

Melissa

Yeah, so yeah, then the question becomes why would you talk yourself out of something that you want? 

Leah

I think it's the money, again, it's like, oh, it's another, you know, five or eight, whatever you choose it to be. And again, like, that's because now I've you have helped me learn about money, Melissa, this is your fault. Right. So now I'm thinking, okay, well, I could do like x, y and z, you know, with $5,000 invested the right way that you know, like, my brain is like showing me these other options. And like I said, I do want to start this podcast. And I've invited people like Melissa to join me on it. And I'm, I'm reaching out to pediatricians all around the country and other doctors who I've just connected with and invited them to be guests. And so like, I want to do a good job for them too. And like, either have a logo or have someone help me produce it. And so again, I'm thinking about using money, like diverting it and using it in a different way. 

Melissa 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave you my podcast producer's name and number.

Leah

I don't think so. I know we had talked, yeah. 

Melissa

She's so reasonable, it's ridiculous, so you cannot worry about that part of it. Okay, tell me what investment is going to have as sure of a return on itself as investing in you and your brain, Leah? 

Leah

Well, you know, with me, it's interesting because in some ways coaching, I feel like it's had such like profound life changing effects. And then in some ways, it's so subtle that I'm not even sure other people notice it. You know, it's like, um,

Melissa

Yeah, wait, why does anyone else have to notice it? 

Leah

I guess I still like a little bit of a validation right in the the time and the money spent or just in like hey look at me I'm doing a good job right you know there's still a big part of me that, you know, gets validation from other people. Okay, like when I talk sometimes my husband will joke and I'll say oh was, did you have coaching today because I'll say something that just like totally catches them off guard or you know it's just very different than the way I used to think about or talk about myself and I'll say no it wasn't a Wednesday like I'm doing that tomorrow. So it's like it's sticking with me even on days of the week that I'm not. 

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's amazing. I'm curious if you're giving yourself validation, right? Anytime you're looking for somebody else to notice or to validate, are you taking the step of saying, man, I'm amazing. 

Leah

No, I don't think I am and because I think I'm also looking for concrete proofs and receipts, right? Like it's easy for me to say like this vacation I just took my family on in Texas. Like I paid for this with points. It took me two years but I learned about it and I figured it out and I flew all of our butts to Texas and we had fun and I flew us back and like look at that thing, right? I have proof of that. And I feel like with coaching, right, that's where they say it's not so obvious sometimes. And so I don't think I'm reflecting and noticing the changes and the progress in a way that I can with other things that I've learned about like money or points or like these other concrete things. 

Melissa

Yeah. Well, I will say that paying me is a great points earning opportunity. 

Leah

It is as I told I said you you're in on this and you and Devon you're working together.

Melissa

Yes. Too funny. Too funny. Yeah. What I would say, Leah, is there is nothing that you could possibly invest in that is going to be more of a return on your investment than yourself. And just like most investments, it may take months, years, decades. Yeah. And really, you'll never know what the trajectory was going to be. That's true. Had you not done the coaching, right? Yeah. So, I mean, my coaching, it's okay for you just to want it. The idea that you should go out on your own and be on your own and that type of thing is a sweet, capitalistic, patriarchal, white supremacist way to think about things. So it's like that rugged individualism that we've all been sold, you know, that, you know, we should all be out there pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps and figuring it out on our own and that type of thing. There hasn't been as much of a history of you deserve support, you deserve to be held, you deserve to be seen as your highest, greatest, goodness, likability, like, you know how much I love all of you guys. So. Yeah. 

Leah

Yeah, that's really helpful. Because when I say like, I should go out on my own. It's almost like I'm expecting myself actually not to do well on my own. Like when I think about it, it's like I'm expecting myself to sort of flounder. Yeah. So why would I? 

Melissa

Yeah, why would I do that? Yeah, don't be mean to my friend Leah. 

Leah

I'm not too weak. Yeah, that's a helpful way to think about it. Because I do, I always look forward to coming. I miss it when we don't have sessions. I care about all the people here in this group so much. And I feel inspired and excited by them and what they're doing. And so yeah, I know what I want to do. Like I said, this happens every six months or so. 

Melissa

I'm glad that I asked and I'm glad that we got to kind of be on to your brain. 

Leah

Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't want to hide from you again. Yeah, I did. 

Melissa

Oh my God. Yeah. Tina's so funny. You know, she's, she's been working and not really been able to make it to a lot of the sessions, but she has been following along and catching up and that type of thing. And she messaged me when I was actually on my way to Miraval because she thought we were meeting that day. And I was like, Oh, she was like, I can make it today. And I'm like, I'm on an airplane on my way to Tucson. And she was just like, damn it. And she's like, I'm definitely signing up again. And we're going to immediately coach about, you know, why I, you know, I'm not prioritizing myself and I'm like, girl, I am here for it. Let's do it. Yeah. Anybody else need coaching on continuing, not continuing, feeling good about it either way? 

Erin

All right, mine. And this might actually be a separate like even consult calls debating whether to do group versus go back to one-on-one coaching because I know I have learned that I don't not that I can't do it, but I don't like how I feel doing it without the like, kind of compassionate observation from another nervous system, right? Like my husband's fabulous, but it's not this like, he's my yes person, which I don't mind. But sometimes I need like someone to, to be you, right? I need you or someone that is like you, right? And I don't prefer to do it without that. And I think for me, I'm in a place where I'm like, do I want I love the group. And I also feel sometimes like I'm like, I have a problem I want to talk about for a whole hour, and that's not fair. But that's not all the time. So then like, so that doesn't have to be us like coaching on it now thing. But I mean, you're stuck with me going forward as your favorite fungus continues on. But I do that's where I'm waffling between. Yeah,

Melissa

I mean, you could always do the Sheridan and do both.

Erin

But I will pull one out of Leah's book and say, I do have to be mine, or I'm going to choose to be, to not spend all my money in that way. But it's not a terrible idea. It's not a terrible idea. I also need to buy a spot screener for the office. 

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I would say is, you know, the group, the opportunity to join the group only comes around every six months, right? You can always do one-on-one. Right? Yeah, I'm going to be offering again, IFS sessions. Does that help Erin? 

Erin

Yeah, yeah, I just it's yeah, it's because I think like, when we first started, my reason for group coaching was because it was uncomfortable. And because being seen by a group of people, I don't know was like, not terrifying, but just really uncomfortable, which in your words is exactly why it needed to happen for all the right reasons. And I've seen myself grow in confidence outside of the group being willing to kind of just be myself in my social circles to or social circles that I didn't really have that. Yeah, or that I'm just finding my way into and not being afraid to be like, Hey, can I can I be here too? Like, not actively asking permission, but sort of showing up and being accepted. So I've seen that benefit for sure. And I don't doubt that I would get benefit from all the, you know, from both types of things.

Melissa

I don't think there's a wrong answer. 

Erin

No, I don't think so either.

Melissa

So I'll probably see you all again next time. I had somebody that also went back and forth, like did one-on-one for six months and then joined the group for six months and then did one-on-one, so that's an option too, fair. Okay, all right. Anybody else need help with that? 

Jeri

I actually have been thinking about this and I've just already decided I'm gonna re-up because I've learned so much about myself. My world is just so different for so many reasons, but this and I don't talk, you know, at the beginning I didn't talk hardly any in the group and that kind of thing. Well, you didn't have anything to offer, remember? Right. Yeah, exactly. Because, you know, I'm not a physician, you know, I don't know that kind of thing. I just deal with grants and that kind of thing. But yeah, I've learned so much. So yeah, I'm going to continue and see what more I can find out about myself and how to deal with my narcissistic mother and, you know, my opinionated child and, you know, all the asshole men that are around my world, you know, those kinds of things. Yeah, yeah, I could use my money other ways, but I just, like you said, I want to continue to learn these new sides of myself that six months ago I didn't have a flipping clue what I was getting into and gonna find out and I've really enjoyed it. 

Melissa

I mean, we should be recording this for a podcast episode. Now that I'm saying it, I might ask your permission to just have this be a podcast episode. If there's anything that you didn't want said that has already been said, I will have Grace remove it. So yeah. 

Jeri

No, my mom doesn't even get on the internet. So it doesn't matter.

Melissa

We could put her on blast and she wouldn't even know. Yeah.

Jeri

They would agree that she is. So anyway, so that's my two cents. I want to continue and want to continue delving into who I am and work on some of those lingering things from the last 58 years. 

Melissa

Beautiful. I love it. It feels so powerful to hear you talk about it, Jerry Lou. So I love it. Anybody else? Colleen is unmuting herself. It appears.

Colleen

Well, I think I feel like I have to talk since we call it pulling a Sheridan. By the way, anyone who doesn't know my last name Sheridan, that was me. I did both group and private my first six months, which was really because I had put off coaching way too long and I needed it. And so, gosh, what everyone has said, I mean, so, Erin, I totally, that's sort of where I've been is, initially, my plan had been to do back and forth. So, this next round would have been more private. The IFS kind of thing has kind of helped that. So, I don't really know if I need coaching, but that's just sort of, and of course, money. Pulling a Sheridan was a lot. Antarctica is a lot and I had a lot of financial trauma, which I'm already doing much better and dealing with it and talk to my financial peer, self, art. Yeah, so, I think I'm going to do group again. I think that's what I'm going to do and we'll kind of see what you offer. I can always start one-on-one. I think, Jen, you probably were, and Erin, you guys have seen me another, I guess, this was my third group, wasn't it? Yeah. So, I feel like I was a little quieter, this group, and that's interesting. So, that's the only thing I'm like in my, and I'll be honest, there's a little bit of shame. There's still some things that I know I want to work through and there's a little shame. So, this group, I feel like I maybe was quieter and I don't know why that is, but I'd like to kind of be curious about that. 

Melissa

If you had to guess Colleen, why do you think? If you just had to like propose a guess. 

Colleen

Oh, I think it's because I haven't been as honest as I have in the past about the kids, you know what I mean, and how, how they're struggling. And those of you, I, you know, some of you have adult kids, and some of you don't yet. And it's just so vulnerable, right? Talk about them to talk about, like how I'm dealing with it. So I felt, and it's nothing with this group, I feel very safe, just as I always have. But yeah, something kind of held me back a little bit this group. And I'd like to, and I was also this group, I was working pretty hard. And so my Wednesdays are just kind of long, right? Because if I have to stay an extra hour on Wednesdays, so I think sometimes I was like, Oh, I don't want to get into it. You know what I mean? Like, I can't have this go on till 30 or three. So yes, there was like kind of a lot of things. 

Melissa 

So yeah, it sounds to me like you had a protective part that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, and we're not gonna bulldoze through that. 

Colleen

And at the same time, I mean, I had so many things I could have talked about winning wins this week. The whole reason I started with Melissa, anyone who doesn't know is that I wanted to connect with my kids. And, and my youngest, she's, you know, diagnosed mild autistic. And she definitely fits the bill sometimes. And do you know what, on Saturday night, I get a phone, I get a FaceTime at nine o'clock, number one, so I'm already asleep, right? Even on a Saturday. That's me. Wild and crazy. Wild and crazy. And it was Corinne FaceTiming me. And she's like, guess where I am. And she's showing me a beautiful river in a city. But I was thinking you live in Columbus, where is this? I guess this I was trying to she was in Cincinnati. And she had gone with a friend for a concert and she didn't want to go to the concert. So she just walked around Newport. Anyway, if any of you know, Cincinnati, it kind of looks like Pittsburgh. It's beautiful. It is really a beautiful city. Anyways, like she wanted to talk with me. 

Melissa

Right? Not even to talk with you, base time with you. Base time. With young adult children that they're like, ugh. 

Colleen

Yeah, she does not do that. And so that was, I was so happy. She's like, oh, I caught you asleep. And I'm like, I'm wide awake now, girl, let's go. Yeah. What do you want? I want to connect. And Ethan, you know, my sweet Ethan too, and Grace, I mean, just, yeah. Next group will hear a little more about Ethan, you know. So, so yeah, so I'm back in group. I'm back. Get ready. I'm going to be crying a lot, I think. 

Melissa

It's all right. We'll hold space for all of it. And you know, I love those kids nearly as much as you do, so. 

Colleen

I know, I know. 

Melissa

Yeah, okay, amazing, amazing, amazing. So there you have it. There is the coaching that each of my clients got about whether or not to continue with the group. Hopefully it gives you an idea of what it's like to have me as your coach and have me believing in you and having me know that any investment that you make in your beautiful brain will have the greatest return on investment of any investment that you could ever make. I know that's been true of me and I think it's true of all of my clients too. So whether you are a present client or a past client, I'm just so proud and grateful. And I just can't say enough about how courageous and confident and curious you've all been with yourselves as you've leaned into becoming a new ever-evolving favorite version of yourself. Thanks for listening this week and I'll see you next week. Bye.

Hey - It’s still me. Since you are listening to this podcast, you very likely have followed all the rules and ticked off all the boxes but you still feel like something's missing! If you're ready to learn the skills and gain the tools you need to tiptoe into putting yourself first and treating yourself as you would your own best friend, I'm here to support you. As a general life coach for women, I provide a safe space, compassionate guidance, and practical tools to help you navigate life's challenges as you start to get to know and embrace your authentic self.

When we work together, you begin to develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You learn effective communication strategies, boundary-setting techniques, and self-care practices that will help you cultivate a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself and others.

While, of course, I can't guarantee specific outcomes, as everyone's journey is brilliantly unique, what I can promise is my unwavering commitment to providing you with the skills, tools, support, and guidance you need to create lasting changes in your life. With humor and a ton of compassion, I'll be available to mentor you as you do the work to become a favorite version of yourself.

You're ready to invest in yourself and embark on this journey, so head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com, go to the work with me page, and book a consultation call. We can chat about all the support I can provide you with as we work together.

I am welcoming one-on-one coaching clients at this time, and, of course, I am also going to be offering the next round of group coaching soon. 

Thanks for tuning in. Go be amazing!