Ep 124: Impacts of Infidelity on Your Favorite You with Andrea Giles

Infidelity in a relationship brings up fears and insecurities that can have a lasting impact on your ability to be your favorite version of yourself. Since my client shared how the infidelity in her marriage affected her sense of self, I wanted to dive deeper into the impact of infidelity and how transformative working through it can be.

In this episode, I'm joined by Andrea Giles, a coach specializing in infidelity. You’ll hear Andrea’s insights into the steps to take after infidelity has occurred in a relationship. It's not a quick or easy journey, but taking the time to process allows you to be honest with yourself and move forward in a way that aligns with your values and desires. 

Regardless of whether you’ve experienced infidelity in a relationship, today’s conversation will offer tools to help you process pain and find clarity.

Andrea Giles is a Master Certified Relationship Coach who is dedicated to helping people leverage the crisis of marital infidelity to change their lives for the better. She is top-rated host of the podcast, “Heal from Infidelity” and encourages her listeners to not only move past the infidelity, but to leverage it for their own growth.

Click HERE to get the full show notes.

Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Melissa 

Welcome back to the podcast, everyone. I am delighted to be joined today by one of my friends and coaching colleagues, Andrea Giles. Welcome to the podcast, Andrea. I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so much. 

Andrea 

Thank you. Thank you. So excited to be here. Thanks for having me.

Melissa 

Oh, yeah, you're so welcome. It's going to be so good for my folks. So I asked Andrea to be on the pod today because when I was interviewing my client Nina in episode 121, which if you haven't listened to it, I'll tag it in the show notes. It was called You Can Stop Pretending With Nina. And we talked a little bit about how realizing that there had been infidelity in her relationship. It really impacted her relationship with herself. And it could potentially, if you let it, keep you from being your favorite version of yourself. So I wanted to dive deeper into this. And I've invited sweet Andrea on as our expert. So what do you think about that, Andrea? I see you nodding your head. 

Andrea 

Oh, it's, it's heartbreaking to see, you know, people make decisions, they do things, say, they make decisions that can, if we let them like this person said, can just shake us to our core, and bring up, it's not just the betrayal of the infidelity, but it's for so many people that I work with, it's like, it's going to bring up all of the things that are like deepest, deepest fears, deepest insecurities, and we're just going to like, you know, pour lemon juice on them, just really, it's just, it really is, it can bring up a lot for most people, for most people. 

And then there's the staying in that space that just as it breaks my heart to see such amazing, powerful women who are magnificent letting the decisions of another so like crush their soul and stay in that place. 

Melissa 

Yeah, my goodness. Okay, so I kind of jumped into it, but tell my listeners who you are, what you do, and why you do it, please. 

Andrea 

Sure. You bet. So my name is Andrea Giles. I own a coaching practice that it's all infidelity all the time. That's all I do is infidelity. I've been in practice now since 2019. I have worked with so many different people, heard lots of different stories. I started out mostly working with women. I now work with couples. I work with men and because really infidelity impacts everybody. Everybody involved is deeply impacted by it. The person who did the betraying– everyone involved. And so I, why I do it. Um, I mean, the real reason why is because I, I have been through it and it is, it gutted me. It was brutal. And in my first marriage, I was married for 16 years and I, I left that marriage and I didn't know that I still had stuff that was unhealed that then revealed itself in marriage number two. Like a lot of big triggers. 

So just to give a little background, I married a widower who had five children and she was just forever sainted, just forever put on this pedestal and coming from a lot of betrayal over many years, it just, it was so hard not to feel like that second-class citizen second to this woman now. And so it was my work to figure it out for myself and I knew that I was going to be helping people. I already was like in school to… went back to school to be a therapist. And then I found coaching at a point where I'm like, either this gets better or I might have to go because I'm like in a lot of pain. And I found coaching and found different ways of navigating it that had never been given to me as tools when I was like in all the therapy I went to, I went to so much therapy. And so, yeah, so now I knew that that's what I wanted to do to get through things myself, help myself and then be able to turn around and help so many people that are affected by it in every industry, every religion, every country, every, like it doesn't matter. It is very, far reaching. 

Melissa 

Yeah. Every walk of life. Wow. Yeah. Amazing. Okay. So you don't know this. I don't know if you listen to my podcast or not, but I always ask the people that I'm interviewing to tell my listeners about their current favorite version of themselves after having done all this work. So if somebody had to, if somebody came up and said, tell me about your favorite, you Andrea, what would you say? 

Andrea 

Oh, that's such a fun thing to think about. I think my favorite me is one that I have been working really hard to allow to be. And it's, it really is acceptance, even acceptance of my strengths. But why is it so hard for us to accept our strengths, right? Like we're so quick to point out our weaknesses, right? We're on that, we know. But to really own our, like our power and authority and our strength. And I, this last year has been a big one for me of really like, okay, I'm really good at this. I'm, I have a gift with this thing and I'm just going to own it and it's okay. Right. Um, my favorite version of me is pretty calm. 

And the version of me that I'm really trying to shape and open up to is one that is really, really good at loving everyone and getting out of my own way with some of that. Two daughters getting married this year. There's a lot of things like family moving parts, many moving parts. I failed to mention that I have 12 children. Yeah, there's that. I have 12 kids. So there's always stuff going on and really tapping into love for all the people. I really like her when she, I'm not always there, but when I'm there, I really like her. Like just that expansiveness and generosity and ability to hold people– humanity without needing to judge it. 

Melissa 

Yeah. And you haven't said this, but I, since I know you, I would say with also not having to judge yourself when you're feeling a little less than loving or a little less than curious or a little less than calm, like, yes, you know, loving all the bits. 

So I love that answer. And of course, when I was prepping for the podcast, I checked out your amazing website, which if you guys want to go to it, it's AndreaGiles.com and we'll link it in the show notes, of course. But one of my questions that you answered so beautifully in the website was going to be, you know, what are some of the common thoughts that women who have been betrayed in their marriage come to you with about themselves, like thoughts that they have about themselves that are keeping them stuck or holding them back. 

Andrea 

I think the biggest one is I'm not enough, biggest one that I hear all the time. And it just, it just breaks your heart. Cause you see these incredible women that are amazing more than enough. But I think it's almost like math in their brain. Like, well, if I equal this, then you would need to fill it with this, right? And, and that would be one I'm not enough. That's the biggest one. I'm trying to think of some more. I mean, some are, I'll never get over it. I'll never, that's a huge one. I'm never going to get past this. I'm never going to go over this. This is going to hurt me forever. That's a big one. I will never trust anyone again. Yeah. That's a big one. I will never, I will never trust him. I will never trust myself. Like that's a huge one is this. I won't trust myself because these things were happening right in front of me and I didn't know. So how can I trust anything going forward? So it's not only did they lose trust in the person who betrayed, but massive blow to their own self-trust. 

Melissa 

Yeah. Wow. Okay. That makes sense. And now, of course, I want to know, you know, after they've worked with you as their coach, what are some of the thoughts that they leave you with to go out into the world? 

Andrea 

Well, I'll tell you what, as coaches, right? I always am looking at what I'm doing, why I do it, reevaluating what is my message? What is the thing here that I'm trying to help people with? And bottom line for me is helping my clients come back home to themselves, help them come home, help them get reacquainted with who they are. A mistake that I see a lot is when people first find out about infidelity, they wanna rush and go to couples therapy and they are not ready for it yet because they're in a space where they are not ready to even be honest about how they feel. They're still in this very reactive place, feeling like they're not enough. And so it's this fine line that they feel like they're walking, that they're so hurt and so upset, but they don't wanna overstate or overspeak because then they're afraid that they'll just get rejected anyway. And so I bring people in when they're in this space, they really do need to make decisions. And I wanna be clear here that I absolutely have seen it but go both ways where people stay and have the best marriages and people leave. I have no agenda either way. It's really choosing with your heart and mind wide open. That's what it is. Like really opening up to seeing the reality of what they're in, getting back to their own goodness, back to their own, the standards that they want for their life based on their own values and really unpacking all of the stories that they're making it mean and being able to tell it in a way that helps them to move forward rather than keeping them stuck. 

Melissa 

Yeah, I love that. I love that. And it really is, I mean, I think all coaching, in my estimation, at least the coaching that I do, is bringing women back to themselves and figuring out where they abandon themselves, where they betrayed themselves, and finding forgiveness for themselves more than anything else. 

Andrea 

100%, 100%. And it's interesting. I'm sure you've experienced this too with your clients that when we can tap into what they did know, like they did know and their intuition was alive and well, right? Like they knew that there were things and they just, they didn't know what to do with it. They didn't want it. It's often we don't want to see it. I was in that experience where I saw things for years and I had, we had six kids. I just, oh, we'd put a shiny spin on it. Look, it's getting better. Look, it's getting better. And then it didn't get better. And I think that we do that. It's not that our intuition that our knowing our access to wisdom and truth, it's not that that's ever been gone. It's that we just pile on so many things that, so we can't hear it or that we mute it. And I think that's such a gift to be able to go back and look at when we did know and where did we self deceive, right? 

Melissa 

Hmm, yeah, so good. Okay. What do you think that the people who come to work with you most want? Like, what is it that they say that they want when they come to be your client? 

Andrea 

Most people say they want peace, they want to be able to live in their own mind without feeling like a crazy person. It's just constant non stop replaying events in their minds. Pretty rough imagery. Sometimes some of them actually have images and things like that, that are there, right? And so for most of them, it's many of them, it's trying, it's needing help deciding what to do because they're at a real crossroads of going, do I stay, do I go? That's a huge one. But then quieting their brain, they're just in such turmoil that they wanted. It's like bleeding out into every part of their life, their work with their kids, with old friendships, things like that, that they just don't feel like themselves and they want to again. 

Melissa 

Mm hmm. That makes so much sense. I mean, it seems to me that it used to be that women were shamed and blamed for leaving their partner after infidelity, like keep the family together at all costs, right? And now it seems that they're shamed and blamed for staying and they really just can't win by society's measure. So what is it that you do to help them decide what's best for them? 

Andrea 

Yeah, I've heard, I think it's Esther Perel. She talks about this dynamic as the new shame. It used to be shame for leaving, now it's shame for staying. It's so funny. Really, I take my clients through a process of really examining– step number one. We can't make this big decision from a place of a really heightened nervous system, right? Often my clients do they'll come and they'll, I've already decided I'm going to make it work. I've already decided I'm going to stay. I've already decided, Oh, I'm leaving. And it's just this immediate reaction, which I understand, right? But ultimately they are going to make the wisest decision for themselves when they can push pause and work on settling their own nervous system. Look at where their reactions are really heightened where fear is running the show. Right?

And one huge part of this, Melissa, is that sometimes when they leave, they just want to run away from it and make poor decisions as far as finances. They'll take the bare minimum of like a divorce settlement because they just want to get away from it. And so that's part of it. That's part of slowing this thing down. Like let's really look at what we need to see here. And so first, first thing out the gate is I work with them on some nervous system work, somatic work. That's what we do first in my program. And then next we move into really facing the, facing the truth of it all, really seeing what we need to see. And so we're looking at the environment in which this happened. Never to, never to blame my clients ever, but it's more for them to take what actually is theirs of the dynamics of the relationship and hand back what's not. 

Melissa 

Right. Own what's yours and get back the rest. 

Andrea 

Because some of them, unfortunately, get blamed by their spouses. If only you were this, if only you were that. And so it's like, all right, what's true here? Like, let's look at what's real. Let's look at what's true. And can we ever make somebody go do these things? Nope, not at all. Can we contribute to a system that we're in? Yes, we can. Right? And so looking at our, how we have contributed, what our own relationship patterns are. Do we retreat? Do we hole up? Do we hide? Do we attack? Right? All these different ways that we do relationships, knowing what yours are. And there's so much wisdom to be gained. And so much, it sounds ironic, right? It sounds like counterintuitive that it would be in actually looking at these things and telling the truth to ourselves that we can prove our confidence. Like to really see, I don't have to hide from these things in myself. Like I can own that I sometimes this and this and this, and I own that. But I know that this piece over here is not mine, right? Pass it on over. 

And then the next piece that we step into when their nervous systems are settled, they are really in a space where they can hold, they have a grown capacity, expanded capacity to hold more nuance to be able to see beyond black and white of the situation. And then we step into vision and becoming the visionary of their life. And for some of them that leave, they recognize that there's not the ingredients there that would make it worth staying and building there. And some of them do, some of them stay with the real understanding that we're not going back. We're not like that old marriage is dead and gone, and we're moving forward and building marriage 2.0. We'll bring some things with us that we want to bring. And we're digging in and building new patterns, new ways of relating with each other, new ways of being accountable for our own behaviors, and really getting clear on what it is they're wanting to build. So the vision piece is all about really tapping into desire. We do a lot of work around desire and owning that it's like that desire is like our, I think it's like our highest frequency of really guiding us of what we're meant to have and then getting on board with that and growing into the person that has that thing. So yeah, that's kind of the process. 

Melissa 

It makes so much sense that this would take some time because I think if you're coming in with a thought, I'm not enough. If I was, this would have never happened, right? To be able to jump to, this is my desire, like it's a leap too far. Like you have to be willing to do the hard work of looking at what is yours to own, you know, why it makes sense the way that you acted and the things that you did, like making sense of yourself and it takes time to do that. That's so, so important. I love it. I love it.

So yeah, this kind of segues into my next question, which is that I see on your website, at least on the website, the shortest time that you offer to work with a client is a year. And I'm sure that you have intention behind that timeframe. So I'm sure you can tell us a little bit about that. 

Andrea 

Yeah. So I have, I've gone all over with three months, six months, nine months, and then did he a year, a whole year. And I love offering my clients a year because it gives them time to settle in and to really have be supported and held as they are doing this deep work. Right? And what I noticed with my people that were in for like three months or six months as they would have results, they would be feeling better. And then it's like, now what, like going out in the world and, and like now what. My lens on infidelity is that there are very few crises that are big enough to crack things open to really do this, this work, like really going deep into our work. And this is one of them. It's big enough that if we allow, if we allow that, that cracking open, it's painful, it's brutal. But if we allow it, there is so much that we can like emerge from that with so much more wisdom and knowledge and love for ourselves. And just it's such a beautiful thing to see. So that year time frame is about giving my clients space to not just get to a decision, but to have the support to continue to grow into a person that can hold their decisions, retracting without doubting, without constantly flip-flopping on it, and being able to come back and really deepen their ability to hold it, their ability to know their own mind and to stay the course, either way, I mean, either way, it is hard work, staying and going. It's both challenging. 

I, yep, that's why. So I just a full year ago, I decided it's going to be a year and we just wrapped up our first year. And I, the feedback was thank you for making it a year. Like I can't imagine it being shorter. So it feels like a long time, but I see this all as it's, it, we're in the transformation business here, not just like a quick little hit of relief or validation. It's we're like really learning how to go back into the world and hold ourselves and respect ourselves and be so much wiser for the experience. 

Melissa 

Yeah. And I think it's a pivot point, right? And I think having the ability to take your time at the beginning when you first get started and that type of thing, and then once you start building up that confidence and self-trust again to go out and be in the world, whether you're with your spouse who committed the infidelity or you're not, and kind of practice, and then be able to come back and say, like, this is what happened. I really loved it. Or this is what happened and I don't think this is it. Like, and being able to have that space and time and not feel rushed.

And you're right. Like at the beginning, I'm sure most people are in fight or flight and that sympathetic activation. You know, I always tell my people, and I know low and having the ability to just slow down and take the time. And in the scheme of things, a year of our life is not a long time. And if you know that you get to take everything that you're learning from that year forward with you into your future, it's like, oh yeah, this makes complete sense. Yeah, exactly. 

Andrea 

Exactly. And one thing that's unique to my particular clientele is they do have big things to deal with. For example, let's say that their spouse, that his parents and siblings know and there's a family function and there's weirdness. Or your own mother knows and there's a family function and there's weirdness, right? Stuff like that, family events, holidays, anniversaries of finding things out, all of that stuff is happening. And so to be able to have that support while you are experiencing those dates and those family functions, social events, first time sending the spouse back on a business trip and the anxiety, all of these things that come up and to be able to have that support for a whole year. And then I do have, when people leave my program, they don't have to go. I don't give them, don't kick them out. Like they can stay if they want. It's just a low monthly rate that they can stay. 

Melissa 

Yeah. So amazing. And I'm thinking, you know, I would think before coaching myself, I would think, gosh, who would want to share all of this information about themselves in a group of people? But now I know that like having the group, having the support, seeing the other people, knowing that you're not alone. You know, that's so huge to have a community when you are trying to do this healing work and yes, seeing the possibility and the other women who are steps ahead of you and then being able to be an example of what's possible for the women who are, you know, coming behind you. And that's something so powerful. 

Andrea 

And I think part of it, I think part of the healing too, is that most of the people there have been betrayed by other women, by their spouse, and there's generally a woman involved, and to be in this room and restoring their faith in that there's so many really great women out there, right, is has been really healing for them. 

Melissa 

Yeah. Oh yeah. I didn't even think about that, but sure. And some people are betrayed by more than one woman and some people are betrayed by their friends and people who purport to be their friends, right? 

Andrea 

Yep, yep, exactly. 

Melissa 

So, you talked a little bit about the three big themes that you see indecision, fear of making the wrong decision, shame, thinking why am I not enough, and then fear of the future. Is there anything you want to say more about those themes that you haven't said? Thank you. 

Andrea 

One thing that is heartbreaking and that I see a lot is when I have clients come to me where it happened 10 years ago, eight years ago, five years ago, and they, their body is registering it as if it happened yesterday and they're still, they're just in so much pain and they're able to function, like they can go to work, they can take care of the kids, things like that, but they are just kind of robotic in it where it's every day, it's always there. And I think another theme that I see is this dynamic of trying to, trying to hustle it, hurry it, make it go away. Often there's pressure from the betrayer to do that. Like I said, I'm sorry. I said, I won't do it again. Why do we need to keep talking about it? And so some of them fall into that where they just have not had the time to really open it up and really look at or they're afraid to, um, some of them are just afraid of what the answer might be for them. Like, do I need to go? Do I need to leave? Right? That kind of thing. But I would say a pretty common thing is knowing that you're suffering, knowing that you're in a lot of pain and just feeling totally trapped in it. Like there's no way out that this is just the way it's going to be and many for years, many of them for years, and knowing that they're in pain, knowing they're unhappy, but not even knowing at all what's available to them. 

Melissa 

Yeah, on the other side of it. 

Andrea 

Yeah. What kind of relief, what kind of pride in themselves, just like to your question about your being your own favorite person. Their other, their own favorite person is so on the other side of this. Like, I've seen it again and again with my clients where they are just, they respect themselves so much. They're so proud of themselves. They see, they see themselves and how far they've come and the work that they've done. And it's so awesome. It's so great. 

Melissa 

So beautiful, so beautiful. Okay. I have another question for you and it's kind of a left turn, but any thoughts out there for the moms who might be staying for their kids? Like that's the reason that they're staying. They know that this isn't the right relationship. They know that it's going to keep happening, but they're like my kids. 

Andrea 

Yep. You know, Oh, it's such a individual thing. It's such an individual thing. I mean, I, I can tell you in my situation, I was a stay at home mom and my first husband was a lawyer for Google. Like he did well. He was successful. He had many degrees and I was terrified out of my mind. I had my all minor children, 14 and under. And for me at the end of the day, I left because I knew that it was, it was such chaos that I was allowing my children to live in chaos of not knowing what version of him was going to come home, not knowing what kind of mood he was in, not knowing what we were going to get from day to day. Sometimes mean, sometimes wanting to play with the kids. And I just couldn't do it anymore. Like it was, I can honestly say it was for my children that I'm like, I'll go flip burgers. I'll go be, I'll go whatever. I'll do whatever I need to do. Right. To get them out of the chaos of this situation. 

And one, one thing that, you know, but that I'll share with the listeners is that what I didn't know is that just seven months after I filed for divorce, he was in a car accident and died. And it was a lot, you know, it was a lot for our family to deal with in such a short time. In one year, we got divorced and their dad died. But I look at all of that and I'm so grateful that I bet on me. I'm so grateful that I bet on me. He was in my case, there's destructive behaviors, things like that as well. I mean, in addition to infidelity, but there was like destructive behaviors. My thoughts on with my clients, I don't have an agenda for my clients staying or going. My biggest thing is that they are honest with themselves about why they are staying, why they are going and they like their reasons and that they know that they can change their mind anytime that they, they can always change their mind. And so I do have people who that they, the stability of knowing the bills are going to be paid knowing that that what they know, the comfort of the discomfort that they know. Yes. That they, that they choose that, but, but they're doing it with their eyes wide open. They see it. They know what they're not expecting anything different. It's not that they're expecting that one day, you know, I'm going to be able to change him and he's finally going to get it. They kind of are over that and they, they just know this is the way it's going to be here and I'm choosing it for these reasons and I'm okay with it. Right. Yeah. What I will say, and I, and I, I think that I love so much that we live in a time where women can get divorced because it wasn't that long ago that they couldn't even write, even right here in the United States, there were huge hoops to jump through to even try to get divorced. Not that long ago. And then different countries today, you still can't get divorced. 

Melissa 

Right. Well not even getting divorced, it's getting a loan, opening a bank account, all the things. 

Andrea 

Like those things that I'm so grateful that we have those abilities now to get a loan to have a credit card to Do so many things that made it near impossible for a lot of people and not not many years ago, right? Yeah

Melissa 

It wasn't that our grandmas were so romantic and stayed because they really loved their husband. No, they couldn't. It was that they didn't have a choice. Yeah, they had to. 

Andrea 

Yep. They had to survival. I will say with that, living in the time that we do, I think that looking, being able to scan out. 

This is a question I ask sometimes of my clients. You want stability for your kids. You want both parents in the home. Is there anything that you want more than that? Is there anything that you value more than that bigger overarching values over more meaningful things that you think could help them in the long haul more than this thing here right now. 

Their answers are their own, right? Their answers are their own, but one answer that people come to a lot is recognizing that either this changes, like it has to get better or I have to leave because I don't want my kids to think that this is the way marriage is. I don't want my kids to go think that relationships are this way and being able to really scan out and look at that can give a lot of courage. And for many of my people, that is the courage that they're able to really put pressure on the relationship in a good, healthy way.I will not continue with these behaviors and basically I'm saying to you, spouse or partner, what are you gonna do about it? This is yours and it's not in a threatening way. It's not an ultimatum. It's really honest and truthful of like, I want more for us. These are the things that we cannot continue in and what are you gonna do with it? And not micromanaging it, letting them, getting out of kind of codependent type ways of needing to manage all of that, of like, okay, what did he read today? What podcast did he listen to? Is he going to therapy? Like getting to this place and I remember being her, I was so her, like so, so her, okay? But pulling back and going, I know what I want. I know what I need. I know what I want my children to see. And for a lot of people, watching their parents fix their marriage, it's pretty powerful, right? And watching parents, watching a parent choose to leave is also very powerful. 

Melissa 

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So good. So, so good. Okay. I want to leave our listeners with hope. And I love your hopeful statement at the end of your first podcast episode, which of course I listened to and several others in prep for this interview. So may I quote you to you? 

Andrea 

Please, yes. 

Melissa 

You said, “I look at my life and sometimes I can't believe that it's real. I can't believe how far I've come. I can't believe the joy that I feel from day to day, that I get to experience just normal peace and normal calm and that I get to feel joy, that I get to feel all of the things that I put off that I didn't know I would be able to experience. And you can experience those things too. They're waiting for you. It requires digging deep. It requires asking yourself some tough questions and showing up with courage and strength. And you are capable of all of that.” Such a beautiful message. 

Andrea 

Thank you. And I do feel that every day just yeah, you know we get caught up in our life and busy and it taking those moments to just go like I check this check me out. Yeah, look at my life Look where we are and even you know in my current marriage like we've been married for eight years and big blended family and then we had a surprise pregnancy and I have a three-year-old And all these adult children and it's just nutty and I go I have a really full life. Like a really full life like there's I get to do meaningful work that matters to me that really helps people in a big way. You know It's interesting when we look at these the times in our life that are the hardest and When we choose to dig in and not to avoid to really go in and like open up what is there for us? There's so much.

Melissa 

Yeah. 

Andrea 

I don't know that we learn as much in moments where we're like just coasting. 

Melissa 

Yeah. Succeeding and content and all of those things. I was just listening to Martha Beck on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast and she was talking about some experiment where they raised trees in an environment that, you know, it was totally controlled for sunlight and water and the nutrients in the soil and that type of thing. And all the trees died. And the reason was that they didn't have wind in this environment. And the wind is what makes you have strong roots and, you know, go down into the earth and build yourself strong. So the idea that, you know, the wind, the hardships in our life, the things that we struggle through are really what make us, you know, stronger. And if you can believe that you're going to come out from something like this, as big as this, stronger, happier, prouder, all those things, I think. But it's hard to see at the beginning. 

So thank you so much for coming. Please tell my listeners where they can find you on the internet, your website, your podcast, your favorite social media platform, all the things. 

Andrea 

So my website, AndreaGiles.com, my podcast is called Heal from Infidelity. It's been around for like four years now. There's a lot, there's a lot of episodes you can go listen to. And then my, uh, on Instagram, I'm the infidelity coach. That's my, my, my handle. 

Melissa 

I love it. Andrea is A-N-D-R-E-A, Giles, G-I-L-E-S dot com. So, people can, you know, they don't have to put in all kinds of different types of spellings to try to find you. 

Andrea 

Right, right. And it does get spelled funny sometimes, Giles. Oh, I'm sure it does. Yeah. 

Melissa 

Oh, man. All right. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and hopefully the listeners get so much. I know I did out of our conversation, so thank you so much. 

Andrea 

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much. 

Melissa 

Alright folks, come back next week, I'm sure I'll have some other amazingness for you.

Hey - It’s still me. Since you are listening to this podcast, you very likely have followed all the rules and ticked off all the boxes but you still feel like something's missing! If you're ready to learn the skills and gain the tools you need to tiptoe into putting yourself first and treating yourself as you would your own best friend, I'm here to support you. As a general life coach for women, I provide a safe space, compassionate guidance, and practical tools to help you navigate life's challenges as you start to get to know and embrace your authentic self.

When we work together, you begin to develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You learn effective communication strategies, boundary-setting techniques, and self-care practices that will help you cultivate a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself and others.

While, of course, I can't guarantee specific outcomes, as everyone's journey is brilliantly unique, what I can promise is my unwavering commitment to providing you with the skills, tools, support, and guidance you need to create lasting changes in your life. With humor and a ton of compassion, I'll be available to mentor you as you do the work to become a favorite version of yourself.

You're ready to invest in yourself and embark on this journey, so head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com, go to the work with me page, and book a consultation call. We can chat about all the support I can provide you with as we work together.

I am welcoming one-on-one coaching clients at this time, and, of course, I am also going to be offering the next round of group coaching soon. 

Thanks for tuning in. Go be amazing!