Ep 122: Impact of Personal Change on Relationships

Much of the work that we do in coaching revolves around relationships. Changing your relationship with yourself is the most impactful relationship we work on, but this personal growth can have a profound impact on your relationships with others.

Through coaching, we can develop better self-awareness, we can increase our emotional intelligence, and improve our communication skills. These changes can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections with others, but they can also reveal when certain relationships are no longer aligned with your favorite you.

When evaluating the impact of personal changes on relationships, I invite you to consider how your growth and living into a favorite version of you aligns with the needs, values, and the expectations of those closest to you.

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Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Hello everyone. Welcome back to Your Favorite You. 

In 2025, I want to get this podcast out to more women who need to hear it. To that end, wherever you are listening to this right now, if you would be so kind, would you please subscribe to the podcast so that you're sure to hear every episode that you want to hear. 

While you're subscribing, if you would take a moment to write a review of the podcast and share your favorite episode with a friend or share one on your social media platform, I would so appreciate it. 

Please take screenshots of your review and who or where you shared it with and email me, melissa@melissaparsonscoaching.com. Every month, I'm going to have my assistant, Jenny, randomly pick a winner and you will win a $50 gift card. 

You can enter as many times as you want, as long as you're writing authentic reviews and genuinely sharing. Okay, enough about that. Today, I want to talk about something that I have been thinking about for some time. 

As you might have gathered from listening to the episodes where I've interviewed my current and my past clients, much of the work that we do in coaching is around relationships. I want to make it abundantly clear that changing your relationship with yourself, the way you talk to yourself, the way you treat yourself internally, the way you treat your body, the way you treat your own life, is the most impactful relationship that we work on when I'm your coach. 

In the words of Glinda and Elphaba and Act 2 of Wicked, who can say if we've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better because I knew you, because in coaching we really get to know ourselves. 

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good. Seriously, getting coached gives you the best parts of you back and helps you live into being a favorite version of yourself. Now, of course, as you change up how you're treating yourself, invariably your relationships with others will be changed as well. 

As my coach Maggie always says, when we work on our relationships with other people, we either get closer to that other person or we get clear. What that means is in learning about ourselves in the relationship and learning about the other person you are in relationship with, you either strengthen your relationship or you get clear on why the relationship is no longer working for you. 

When evaluating the impact of personal changes on relationships, I invite you to consider how your growth and any new standards that you start living up to and living into a favorite version of you aligns with the needs, values, and the expectations of those closest to you. 

In the first place, working with the coach and changing personally results in improved communication. As you develop better self-awareness and you increase your emotional intelligence, you will very likely find that your communication skills improve. 

This can lead to more open, honest, and constructive conversations with your partner, your family, your children, your coworkers, your boss if you have one, and your friends. And like I said, this will either strengthen the bonds that you have with these people or it will have you changing the dynamic of your relationship such that you decide you want to give less time and attention to that relationship. 

Secondly, most of my clients find that over time their priorities start to shift. As you start to redefine your priorities and focus on what matters most to you, your relationships may be affected. For example, if you decide to prioritize self-care and set boundaries around your time, you may need to renegotiate household responsibilities with your partner, or you may need to spend less time with certain friends. 

Your personal growth may involve developing new interests or spending more time doing the things that used to bring you joy. Your growth may also involve letting go of old habits which may impact the activities you share with others. 

For instance, if you choose to quit drinking alcohol like I did as part of your self-improvement journey, you may need to find new ways to socialize with friends that you're used to meeting up to drink together. 

In my experience, most of my friends did not give a single fuck as to whether or not I was drinking with them. So it was on me to get coached or to coach myself on my thoughts about myself and helping myself become comfortable ordering a mocktail or drinking club soda or a coffee as my friends were still drinking their cocktails or their wine or their champagne or whatever. 

Another thing you might find is that your personal growth will have a positive ripple effect on those around you. As you model self-awareness, emotional maturity, and a commitment to your values, you may inspire your loved ones to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and growth, leading to deeper and more meaningful connections. 

If you're anything like me when I first started getting coached, and of course most of my clients when we first start to work together, there will likely be temptation to want to share everything about your coaching journey with your friends and family. 

Some of them may show interest, and some of them may act as if they want nothing to do with it. The temptation is strong to want to force other people to see the light. Ask me how I know. Again, I think the best way to make an impact here is to lead by example. 

For those who are not interested, your constant insistence about talking about the magic of coaching might be misconstrued or actually construed as criticism. Of course, as you become more assertive, start setting healthier boundaries, or break free from people pleasing and tendencies, some relationships may be challenged. 

Family members or friends who are used to you always saying yes may need time to adjust to your new approach, and some relationships again may need to be renegotiated or even ended if they're no longer aligned with what you want for yourself and what you know is best for you. 

And last but certainly not least, as this is one of my favorite parts of helping women to live into a favorite version of themselves, as you become more authentic and align with your values, you will very likely find that you attract new people into your life who share similar priorities and support your growth. 

When you stop being a perfectionist, when you stop people pleasing, when you dramatically decrease your control enthusiasm, this allows you to make new connections with other humans. who are similar to your favorite you. 

These new connections can enrich your life and provide a sense of community as you navigate changes. Of course, with some of these changes, there are going to be challenges. I want to remind you that staying the same and not making changes is also challenging, but it may not feel so scary just because it's familiar. 

The benefits of getting coached and living into a favorite version of yourself far outweigh any challenges along the way. And with coaching, of course, you have support and guidance from me and I will teach you the skills and tools that you need to navigate these challenges. 

As we work together, I will always advise that you are compassionate with yourself and patient with yourself as you attempt to change and grow. And it's also important to extend compassion and patience to the people you love as you change and grow. 

Remember, they might be afraid that you changing will lead them to being left behind. If you have a healthy relationship with the person and they have a desire to have a healthy relationship with you, patience and compassion will go a long way as you navigate life together. 

Setting the example of a willingness to be authentic and vulnerable with the other person may show them that you are a safe person for them to be authentic and vulnerable with. The more open, authentic, and vulnerable you're willing to be, the deeper your connections to the quote unquote right people in your life will be. 

I promise you that letting go of relationships that are no longer serving you will make beautiful space in your life for even more loving and deeper connections with the humans that are meant for you. 

You can trust that the relationships that are meant for you will find a way to grow with you. To summarize, in today's episode, we explored the profound impact that personal growth and coaching can have on our relationships. 

At the heart of this journey is the most important relationship of all, the one that you have with yourself. As we learn to treat ourselves with kindness, respect, and authenticity, we can create ripple effects that touch every other relationship in our lives. 

Through coaching, we can develop better self-awareness, we can increase our emotional intelligence, and improve our communication skills. These changes can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections with others, but they can also reveal when certain relationships are no longer aligned with your favorite you. 

As we redefine our priorities, set healthy boundaries, and let go of people pleasing, some relationships might be challenged. It's important to approach these changes with patience and compassion, both for ourselves and others. 

Remember, healthy relationships have the... capacity to grow and adapt. One common fear is that personal growth will lead to losing loved ones. While growth may indeed change the form of some relationships, it's important to trust that the connections that are truly meant for us will find a way to evolve. 

When we live in alignment with our authentic selves, we attract people who share our values and support our journey. I promise you that's the best part. Navigating relationship changes during these personal growth times can be challenging, but remember staying the same is also challenging. 

The benefits of living into your favorite version of yourself far outweigh the discomfort of growth. And with coaching, you will have the support, tools, and guidance you need to navigate these changes with grace, humor, and resilience. 

So, as you continue on your journey of living into a favorite version of you, be compassionate with yourself. embrace vulnerability, communicate openly, and trust in the process. The relationships that are meant for you will grow. 

The ones that fall away will create space for new beautiful connections to thrive. If someone rejects who you really are as you become more of who you are, they just are no longer your person. I can't say it any more plainly than that. 

Okay folks, that's enough for this week. I will see you next week. And remember to get in those reviews and shares of the podcast so that you can be a lucky winner.

Hey - It’s still me. Since you are listening to this podcast, you very likely have followed all the rules and ticked off all the boxes but you still feel like something's missing! If you're ready to learn the skills and gain the tools you need to tiptoe into putting yourself first and treating yourself as you would your own best friend, I'm here to support you. As a general life coach for women, I provide a safe space, compassionate guidance, and practical tools to help you navigate life's challenges as you start to get to know and embrace your authentic self.

When we work together, you begin to develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You learn effective communication strategies, boundary-setting techniques, and self-care practices that will help you cultivate a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself and others.

While, of course, I can't guarantee specific outcomes, as everyone's journey is brilliantly unique, what I can promise is my unwavering commitment to providing you with the skills, tools, support, and guidance you need to create lasting changes in your life. With humor and a ton of compassion, I'll be available to mentor you as you do the work to become a favorite version of yourself.

You're ready to invest in yourself and embark on this journey, so head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com, go to the work with me page, and book a consultation call. We can chat about all the support I can provide you with as we work together.

I am welcoming one-on-one coaching clients at this time, and, of course, I am also going to be offering the next round of group coaching soon. 

Thanks for tuning in. Go be amazing!