Ep 114: Loving Your Body and Your Brain with Laura Conley

In this episode, I’m interviewed by my coaching friend, Laura Conley, who hosts the Lose Weight for the Last Time podcast. Laura and I talk about the essential practices for becoming your favorite version of you, and we go deep into why putting yourself first is a valuable tool even if it can be challenging at first.

I also give you some tips for embracing quiet and stillness that will help you make time for yourself. Remember, your longest relationship is with yourself. Treating your mind and body with the same kindness and care that you have for others is an important step toward a life that you love.

Laura Conley is the founder of the Yummy Mummy Method (which has successfully helped hundreds of women lose weight for the last time!) and has been lovingly labeled the “Fun Weight Loss Coach” by her clients. Laura helps mamas who have been painfully struggling with diet drama to lose weight for the last time and free themselves from food chatter forever - all from a place of love.

Click HERE to get the full show notes.

Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

Laura

You are listening to the Lose Weight for the Last Time podcast with Laura Conley and Oh my God, guys, I have a guest here, Melissa Parsons, and we're doing like this fun little collab today.

So Melissa and I know each other from our licking days. No, I'm just kidding. We have this weird inside joke about licking. Don't ask.

She's a coaching friend of mine who I love so much. And I just thought it would be really fun to have a conversation and then have you guys listen to it cause she's really smart and has a lot to offer, especially when it comes to you loving you. And it was just so kismet because you know, that's what that's what I like to teach.

And so Melissa, I want you to introduce you, you tell us who you are, what you do and then and then we'll just dive in.

Melissa

OK, awesome. Thanks Laura for having me and yes, please, everyone do ask about the licking. Just kidding.

I am Melissa Parsons. I am a pediatrician, actually, by training. I spent over 20 years practicing pediatrics in Columbus, Oh, and I found coaching in 2018 for myself. And decided to become a coach after getting coaching for a couple of years. And I now have been coaching in my business, which is Melissa Parsons Coaching for the past four years.

I coach women exclusively, and my goal is to help them become a favorite version of themselves. So I have a podcast called Your Favorite You. I have a group coaching program called Your Favorite You. And I just love helping women just to be able to navigate life in a sometimes crazy, tumultuous world and learn to love every little bit of themselves. So that's what I do.

Laura

I love that. That's so cool. We like, essentially do the same thing, just through like different entry points, right?

Melissa

Yeah, different lens.

Laura

Yeah. We need more of us because we all have to be free and we all have to love ourselves. OK, so how do we do that? Like, how do we become our favorite versions of ourselves?

Melissa

Oh gosh, I think it is a multi-step process, right? I think it is consistently asking ourselves, what do I want? Over and over and over again.

Laura

Yeah, that just came up at the retreat this past weekend. It's like the lack of just asking the question in the 1st place. Like we literally just forget to ask ourselves that question. We're conditioned to and socialized to just be so concerned about what other people want, what other people want, what other people need. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's the podcast, guys. Just go ask yourself what you want. I'm not kidding.

Melissa

Well, and then I think it's getting quiet enough to actually listen for the answer because so many of us are so busy and pack our schedules full so that we don't have to pay much attention to ourselves.

Laura

Oh yeah, totally.

Melissa

And it seems safer. And then of course, like you said, we have the socialization to think of self-sacrifice as being something that we all should do. And I think it's a bunch of bull larky. Do we swear on the Laura Connelly podcast?

Laura

Oh my God, no, you know me. I don't swear.

Melissa

My podcast has a disclaimer at the beginning for people. It says I like to use all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young years are around.

Laura

I know my podcast editor keeps being like you need a disclaimer and then my podcast episodes will get marked as explicit.

Melissa

Nice. I love that.

Laura

So there's your answer.

Melissa

Yeah. So we can say bullshit.

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, we can say the SH word. So like. Oh yeah, I'll get messages. Like, can you just please stop swearing? But I probably should do a disclaimer.

So, OK, so then we get quiet enough. How do we do that? That is scary. Or what are some, like, suggestions? Like, how could we, like, ease our way into experiencing quiet?

Melissa

I think scheduling an appointment with ourselves for like, if you have to start at 5 minutes every day, you can start at 5 minutes. Everybody has 5 minutes. Doesn't matter if you have a full-time job and you have multiple kids and you're married or you're a single parent or whatever. It is like, let's start at 5 minutes and just sit and literally do nothing. Like look out the window. Yeah, at my house, it's watch the birds, watch the deer. You know, watch the leaves change color, watch them fall off the trees, you know, watch the flowers grow. 

Laura

Just so that you can like prove to yourself that it's like safe to sit there for 5 minutes.

Melissa

Yeah. So many of us have been taught that it's not safe to sit.

Laura

Oh, yeah, yeah, totally. That's a whole podcast right there. I also wonder about the offering of like, if 5 minutes just looking at the leaves feels hard, like for me, because this is something that like I used to have. This used to be a pattern for me. Like I every minute was, you know, triple booked. That's part of the reason why I became a yoga teacher. So I wonder too if it felt if that even feels like too big of a jump. 

I wonder about like, well, like I'm working on rest, so like I have to schedule my rest, but like someone else has to be a part of it. So like I have to get a massage or I have to like do like a yoga nidra, but like with my husband like. So it's like I almost will build on the accountability. And so I just wonder if that is like a little footnote too, if it feels like even 5 minutes feels too much, which could be a thing. Like, it actually could be a thing that 5 minutes feels too much. And like, you don't have to shame yourself around that too.

Melissa

Well, and I think the other thing that is a nuance to this is like, if you can't find 5 minutes, like you're way too scheduled.

Laura

Yeah, that's telling in and of itself, right?

Melissa

Right, exactly. And if you treat your appointments with other people. With a ton of respect and you would never not show up if you schedule a massage without letting the person know, or you scheduled a walk with a friend, or you scheduled yoga neutral with your husband. Like if you would always show up for that appointment, but you always come up with excuses not to keep your appointment with yourself for 5 minutes a day. It's like, OK, let's look at that. Like, why don't you deserve that same dedication that you're giving to other people?

Laura

Yeah, yeah. There's a quote that I'm totally gonna botch that has to do with meditation cause people will always like walk around and be like, I don't have 15 minutes to meditate to like I like that's impossible. And it's like if you're saying you don't have 15 minutes to meditate per day, you need an hour of meditation per day or whatever. Fill in the blank coaching or - I like coaching better than meditation, but I do agree with you on the solitude thing.

Anything else that we can do or any other steps that we can do to, like, become our favorite you?

Melissa

I think a lot of what I coach people on, and I know that you do too, Laura, is unlearning all the bullshit that we have been taught over the years about. What makes a perfect mom? What makes a perfect daughter? What makes a perfect wife? What makes a perfect sister?  Like all the things that we need to at least question and consciously decide instead of just going with what everyone else is doing or what we've always done.

Yeah, I think one of the things that drew me to coaching is, you know, I had the dream of being a doctor since I was nine years old. And I did everything that I could to make that happen. And at some point I stopped dreaming for myself because I had kind of checked off all the boxes and I had done all the things and I was married, I had a nice home, I had a vehicle to drive, I had two kids, a dog, like, I had all the things that I had set out for, but I still was, you know, putting my head on the pillow at night or waking up in the morning thinking, oh, like, is this it? Like, what else? How could I dream for more? And that type of thing.

Laura

Yeah. And that's death. I mean, that's a trap right there. Like, I'm just gonna go there, but like, I just, I love Viktor Frankl and he talks all about how he got through the concentration camps. And it was by asking himself, like, what do I want? And also just by knowing that he had a purpose that he had to see through. And he's like, I would see the light go off. I would see the purpose go off in the other people around me that were also imprisoned in these concentration camps. And the light of purpose would go out and then they would be gone the next day or the next day. And he attributes his survival to his ability to hold on to a purpose.

And I think that a lot of both of our audiences, I actually just did this huge survey of all all my moms in my community. And a lot of them did say, like, I've done it, like I've I've lived out my dreams. And cause we stop asking the question like some of us, OK, we're asking the questions like at age 9 or age 16 and then and then we do all the things. We check all the boxes and then we are like, yeah, is this it? And it's like, no, this is definitely not it.

But we're we're probably a lot of us are scared to to like keep dreaming and keep asking ourselves like what what's next or or what could be another one of my many purposes here on. On planet Earth or whatever.

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think the other thing, for me at least, and what I have found for my clients is that part of being a favorite version of yourself is telling the truth.

Laura

Oh, that's so good.

Melissa

And not pretending. And like how free you start to feel when you start to tell. All the little microscopic truths that you haven't been telling or that you've been afraid to tell.

Laura

I don't even think a lot of us are aware of it. Like, I don't even think a lot of us know that we are walking around just managing everybody's impression, like impressions of like ourselves. It's called like impression management. I just learned this like last weekend. I had a psychologist in one of our cohorts and she's like, oh, that's called that. And I'm like, oh, great, we have a name for it.

But I learned so much by asking myself this question. Like, what are the things I'm doing and saying to manage what other people think of me? And can I stop doing that and just let them think whatever they want to think? And that's like a step into telling the truth. Cause I sometimes wonder if do people even know whether or not they're telling the truth? Because so many of us are just like following suit. Like we're just like being a good soldier almost.

Melissa

Yeah. Being a good girl, following the rules, taking on the roles, being over responsible for everyone else and forgetting like our responsibility to ourselves.

Laura

How do we start telling the truth in a way that doesn't feel too scary and so that we actually do it?

Melissa

I think it's again like the 5 minutes. It has to start off small.

Laura

Yeah, like for me, in a yummy mummy experience, the truth is like, it doesn't feel good for my body to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. It feels much better to get outside and take a walk or to, you know, go lift some heavy shit and throw it around, right?

Melissa

Yeah, totally. It doesn't feel good to eat a bunch of food and drink a bunch of alcohol. And like, I think I would have done that. 

I think one of the earliest truths that I can remember telling. When I was first getting coached was I went out to dinner with my girlfriends and I wasn't hungry and it was dinner time and you know, they were like, what's wrong? And I was like, absolutely nothing is wrong. Like I'm, I'm full right now. I don't need to eat, but I want to enjoy your company. Like, is it safe for me to come out and be with you? And not eat and just sit here and drink my tea or my water, whatever it was, right? And you know, it makes other people uncomfortable sometimes when we're telling the truth. But I would rather make other people uncomfortable than make myself uncomfortable like ever again, if I can help it.

Laura

Yeah, we've done that for so long. I always am like, yeah, you have to be willing to disappoint other people in order to appoint your future self. Because it's just, it's, yeah, impossible.

Melissa

Yeah. I think this is making me think of one of those quotes and I don't know who to attribute it to, but like there are two people I want to make proud, my 5 year old self and my 85 year old self.

Laura

Oh, that's so cute. I love it. Not cute. That's mean.

Melissa

Yeah, no, I don't take it as that.

Laura

Oh, but that's so great cause I do. I love all the future self stuff. But like the five-year-old self, that's why it's like so sweet cause it's like, oh, she wants it so badly too.

Melissa

Yeah, she wants to tell the truth. And my five-year-old self wasn't afraid to tell the truth.

Laura

It's like what you said at the beginning. All we're doing is just unlearning. Like we actually came perfect. Like we actually knew how to do it. 

Melissa

Yeah, we were conditioned out of it. 

Laura

Yeah, exactly. Somebody was describing it like tentacles. She's like, and I'm like having her like, like physically like remove all of these like socialization, you know, cultural conditioning like tentacles off of her so she can like be free. It was like the best analogy. And I think I always talk about it. Most of us are like walking around with like 15 lbs of people pleasing pounds because like most of us do go to the dinner and eat the thing when we're full because we don't feel like it's safe to tell the truth. And it feels safer to like lie to ourselves than it does to tell the truth to other people and to let them have their like reactions and responses.

I also feel like most people, yeah, there's definitely food pushers. And there's definitely people that are going to be disappointed. But I feel like actually most people are like, whatever. I don't, like, give AF.

Melissa

They don't care. Yeah, that's the best part of it all. Because when you start telling your truth and you start feeling the freedom that comes with that, they're not like, why are you not doing this? They're like, tell me how you're not doing this.

Laura

Yeah, they're curious. They're inspired. Yeah, like you're giving them permission too. They're like, oh wow, she honored herself and didn't die. Maybe it's safe for me to honor myself and not die.

I remember at the beginning of my journey, I would like, program my brain with all like my rebuttals for like, why I wasn't gonna eat like what I was gonna eat. And then no one would challenge me and then I'd be like, pissed that I couldn't use my rebuttals.

Melissa

You're like in the car on the way home.

Laura

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I was gonna like, I'm like fighting with them in the shower. Like, you know, and I never got to use it cause no one. Well, 99% of people don't care. And you might have like a hard mother-in-law or whatever and it feels like it's not 99%, but most people really don't care. And I do this experiment all the time just to like put it on my Instagram. But it's like the pizza topping test and because I, well, I don't eat flour. So like and then oftentimes at like these freaking silly kids birthday parties, like what is there? Pizza, right? It's so easy and or they'll be like family pizza nights or whatever.

And I'm like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna eat like the tops off of like 3 pieces of pizza and look like a total weirdo. There might not even be forks and I'm gonna just use my fingers. It's gonna be disgusting. And I'm like, I'm gonna see how many people I can get to say something like. I'm gonna see if I can get people to be like, what are you doing? And nobody, no one will say anything. It's so annoying. So yeah, somebody challenge me. Telling the truth. It's so, yeah, it's so, so good.

And that's why coaching is so awesome too, because it gives you a safe container to tell the truth and to practice like. Don't have to, like, dive in. You can sidestep your way into being your favorite you to loving yourself and to experiencing, like, bliss within your own body.

Melissa

Well, and I think the other thing that coaching brings is the idea of, like, let's fail forward. Like, it's OK to fuck this up.

Laura

Yeah, you're winning or learning. You're winning or learning.

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, we make the failure mean so much about like our like who we are. And then you think about it. If it was your five-year-old, you'd never be like, what were you thinking? Why did you do that? Like, you know, you'd be like, oh, it's OK, honey, we're going to figure it out.

Laura

Yeah, well, like, I mean, I have, I have like daily examples. It's so because I have a 5 year old and he's like learning to ride a bike and he can't figure out how to turn on the gravel right now. And he falls on the gravel and he gets frustrated and he gets hurt, but he gets right back up and he's like, why? What happened there? And I'm like, you're on the gravel and you're not on the pavement. So like, let's try not making as sharp. And he's like, oh, OK, instead of quitting, quitting riding the bike, he just like gets a little frustrated, feels his feelings, cries and then gets back on. And it's like, he's not making it mean anything about his worth.

And I think we do that so much like- When we're after any goal, like whether that's weight loss or or whatever, I was like, Oh my God, I ate a cupcake. I'm like, you guys, it's not fucking heroin. Like, it's a cupcake. Like, big deal. You know, they're like, Oh my God, I'm like, I literally actually must be a failure. Like, I must be a failure. And I'm like, no, we're just like winning or learning.

And I think, yeah, our five-year-old selves, we just attach so much meaning to mistakes or failures or detours or plot twists or whatever we want to call them.

Melissa

Well, yeah, and I think as the parent too, like, you could have chosen to berate him and say, can't you see that you're not on the pavement? You're on the gravel. Like, you can't do that. Instead you were like, oh, look, the only difference is, and this is how you need the correct time.

Laura

Yeah. Just a course correct. A little detour and a little course correct.

OK, so, oh, we were talking earlier about the email that you sent out about like how to love the experience of being in your body and your body is like your one precious home. So talk to us a little bit about that.

Melissa

Yeah, I sent an email today. Basically it was a repeat of one that I brilliantly wrote, I don't know, a couple years ago. And I'm always, I don't know if you experience this too, Laura, but like, I'll read my own emails and I'll be like, oh, wow, like I needed that message.

Laura

I'm like, Oh my God, I'm so, I'm like, I'm so smart. 

Melissa

I know what I'm talking about. I'm pretty good at this, right? I'm like, am I still this smart?

Laura

I love that you guys, that's a great exercise for all y'all to go do is to like go look at some of your past stuff. It's good. I mean, some of it's probably not, but like, no, but most of it is really awesome.

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically it was, you know, your body is your body for life. And the thing that I put onto that too is that your mind is your mind for life. So your relationship with yourself is the only one that's gonna last your entire lifetime. And I think that is an Edith Eager quote. So you're quoting Victor, I'm quoting Edith, both Holocaust survivors. And, you know, let's give our brains and our bodies what they need in order to thrive in order that we want to actually live in our bodies and we want to actually live in our minds.

Because I don't know about you and your listeners and my listeners, but like so many of us have brains that like we wouldn't subject anyone else to. Like we're so mean to ourselves in our own minds and we're so unkind to our bodies. We do things that are not loving to them. And so my whole thing is like, let's love ourselves up so much and put at least a portion of the focus of loving and helping and caring for other people. Like at least give a portion of that to us. And my bias is like, let's give it all to us. And then everything that overflows from that, like, is going to flow out onto the people that are closest to you and that you care the most about. But so many of us are so externally focused on, you know, what we're doing for other people, how we're showing up for other people, you know, that we're not. Not taking the time, not taking the 5 minutes, not taking the half hour to go on the walk in nature. Not taking the half hour to go lift heavy stuff.

Laura

I would almost like give it to the audiences as like a challenge. Like take a week or take a month or like I dare you to take a whole year where you're like, OK, just for a year I'm gonna or just for a month or just for like I'm just gonna put myself first or I'm gonna at least put myself on the top three cause most are not on the list. Like they're not even on the list.

Melissa

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. They're not even on the list.

Laura

Like, just experiment. You can always go back to not being on the list, but you have to.

Melissa

I say that to my people all the time. I'm like, you'll never choose it. If you put yourself on the list, you will see that you should have always been on it. 

Laura

It's just so much easier. Oh my God. So like, we had these 50 yummy mummies in in Boulder, Co and we went to a comedy club like we had like a private comedy show and the headliner was like the yummy mummies. What are you guys, zombies walking around? And I'm like, I mean, she couldn't figure out what we were, what we did. She thought we like made breast pumps. It was like this whole thing. And then I told her it was like a cult and then I wouldn't tell her what it was. And so the whole thing, she couldn't even concentrate on her, on her like feel on her set because she like, she's like, what? What are you guys like?

Anyways, it was hilarious and I was like, no, but like we kind of were zombies like before because we were shells of ourselves walking around giving from nothing, which isn't borderline impossible. And so that's why now I'm making Melissa be in on this with me, both audiences challenging you to do that because what you'll prove to yourself is that it's just like so much easier to get like when I show up to this retreat. 

You know, and leading workshops and coaching for 50 women. If I hadn't, you know, I do do basic bitch shit to like fill my cup. I do. I know people make fun of it, but like, I do get the massages and the pedicures. But I'm also like walking in the sunshine a lot and like, I do all the things and the journaling and like, I get like an exceptional amount of sleep.

Melissa

Me too.

Laura

Yeah, I'm like, if it's not 9 hours, well, it's like it's not enough. And there's a coaching that we can do around that cause I can already hear the audiences be like, I could never sleep like that. Well, anyways. We can all, we can coach you through all that, don't worry. But my point here is it's just it becomes natural. It becomes effortless.

So last week I did all the things to make sure my cup was full, but it's natural now. I don't even have to try cause it's just so automatic and ingrained, ingrained. And so like I can show up at that retreat and just give it all from like 8:00 AM to 10:00 PM cause I still have to get those nine hours, but then I come home. And I really, my son's like, will you play hangman? And I know, like, I know myself. Like if I hadn't done this work, I would have been like, you're supposed to play hangman with him. Now I like hangman, actually. Like if it was like play with cars on the floor, I would be like, fuck no kid. Like, absolutely not. But he's like, wanna play hangman? I'm like, yeah, I totally wanna play hangman.

Like, but that's kind of like one of my like little dreams is like the moms, like, they say yes. But like from desire, not obligation. And the way you get there is by filling your cup, by putting your oxygen mask on blah blah cliche blah blah. So that's just like little like minute examples to like dangle the carrot that like you're the first act of like selflessness is selfishness and it's not actually selfishness.

It's kind of what you said at the beginning. Like what it what was the term? It was like self-sacrifice. I thought that was such a good term that you used. Yeah, like stop self-sacrifice. Like, stop sacrificing yourself in the name of other people.

Melissa

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I often tell my clients is, you know, do you see how you are burning yourself in order to keep other people warm? Like you're setting yourself on fire in order to keep these other people warm. Like, and none of them want you to do it.You think that they do. They actually, the people that really love you and care about you, like, that's the last thing they want.

Laura

Oh my God, that could make me cry. And that's so true. And yeah, what a good filter to put people through. If they don't want you to take care of yourself, they're out. And there might be some of those people, right? Because a lot of people do benefit from people pleasing people. And those people that are out, like, I want, that's information that you want to know.

Melissa

Yeah, that's so good. Tell me about your favorite version of you, Laura.

Laura

OK, you guys, she told me she was going to ask me this before we hit record, but I and she told me to be prepared, but then we hit record.

So my answer is like, I honestly feel like there's one version of me, though. I feel like there's just one version of me. But do you disagree? Do I have other versions I don't know about?

Melissa

I mean, there was a version of you before you found all this coaching.

Laura

Oh, oh, definitely. My favorite version of me is me right now. Well, maybe future me. Oh, God, fuck. I don't know. So, like, if we take timelines…

Melissa

It sounds to me like your favorite version of you gets a lot of sleep. Your favorite version of you doesn't self-sacrifice in order to people please other people.

Laura

Oh, OK, so like, what is my favorite version of me? What does she do?

Melissa

Yeah, like, put us into your house on a random Thursday.

Laura

OK, I have like 20 answers. Something I'm really working on right now that makes me feel favoritism towards myself is everything is fun. Everything has to be fun. Like it has to be fun and easy. It's OK if it's a little hard sometimes. But my big impossible goal that I want to do is to free a million moms. Like, that's it. But from a place of fun. And that's the impossible part, actually. Like, I know I can free a million moms. Like, I know I can do that part, but it's like, can I do it? By remaining close to my really primary #1 value, which is fun, which I know sounds frivolous, but it's not. It's deep. Because if you can't, if you don't have the ability to be silly or to have fun or to enjoy life. Because if you're not like exuberant and wild and psycho like me, that's not going to relate. But like you could use the word enjoyment or joy instead of fun. Or pleasure.

So that's like, that is my favorite version of me is like the girl, woman, whatever that is like having a lot of fun, that is playing a lot, that's outside a lot, that's do like games, dance, walking like. And so like I do like make my calendar match that like primary value. I remember my husband, who's been my boyfriend slash husband since I was 18 and like he was like, we were like 22 and he's like, what do you think like the purpose of life is? And I was like to have fun and he was like, that is like not he like shamed me for it cause he, I don't know cause he wasn't as involved as I was actually. I mean he's a man who's raised in the patriarchy. The point is not funny. The point is like, yeah, he was having to say it's probably a similar track to you. He was like, I'm going now we get the PhD and then, you know, yeah, it's achievement is the point. And he was like, oh, and I'm like 20 something years later, I'm like. That's still the point of life. Like my future self who's on her deathbed is like, you fucking did it. Like you had fun and you played and you contributed and like, you know, all the like important achievement things too.

But I think that that's my favorite version of me is like the girl who goes to dance class and is just unapologetically her like my husband did for my 40th birthday, like one of those like a montage. Yeah, like it was like a montage of all of my friends. And it was like he made them rehearse. And it's like he gave them lines. He did give them questions, but not like leading questions. It was like, how would you describe Laura was one of the questions. Like, but like, nicely. Like, don't say mean shit to her on her birthday.

Everybody said like, oh, Laura is unapologetically herself. Like that's just who she is. And so I think that is a part of my favorite me is it's and it's what you've been talking about. Like it's me telling the truth unapologetically. It's me being willing to just be myself and tell the truth and give other people their feelings back to them.

So that and that goes back actually to like the ability to have fun and be silly and play is because, like, I think we all have that inside of ourselves. It's just that, like, we're not allowed to show that sometimes.

Melissa

Yeah. Oh, for sure. I do a lot of inner child work with my people and their littlest version of themselves. That's all they want. They want to play or they want to have a hug. It comes down to those simple things. So you're on the right track.

Laura

I got the right answer. Did I get an A+?

So I'm still breaking up. No, I broke up. I fucking broke up my relationship with achievement equals worth.

OK, so, Melissa, will you tell us before we end? I want to know your favorite version of you.

Melissa

Oh, God, girl. Free. Peaceful. Laughing. Making other people laugh for sure. Willing to receive other people's love and care.

Laura

Oh, I have like 8 more questions, but that's the podcast, guys. So maybe she'll come back or maybe I'll go back. 

Wait, OK, let me just ask like one question. Cause there's like, this is like a fun workshop. This is like, OK, and then like, how do you know when you're falling away from her? You're like abandoning her. How do you know when you're not being her? Or what things do you have to put on your calendar to make sure she's supported and she can come out and she can thrive?

Melissa

Yeah, I mean the calendar stuff, it's sleep. It is daily time in nature. It is moving my body in a loving way. It is connecting with my people, whether that be friends or my clients or whatever. The way that I know that I am falling away from her is I'm learning to really listen to my body. And constantly asking myself, like, what do I want?

And I'm stealing this shamelessly, and I have stolen it shamelessly from Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, where they talk about if something is a yes for them and it feels like a yes, it feels warm, it feels open, it feels expansive, it feels light. If something is a no, it's cold and closed off and heavy. So it's just being willing to like follow my body and follow my feelings in my body and stuff.

Which-- Your body can't lie. When I was in med school, residency, physicianhood, like I was like neck up. Like I wasn't in my body ever. So this is a learning process.

Laura

Yeah. So like going back to telling the truth, like, it's impossible to tell the truth unless you're connected to your body and the cues that it gives because it only speaks in one language, which is truth.

Melissa

Yeah. So good.

Laura

OK. Should we end it? That should be like, OK, OK, that we're ending it. OK, Melissa, tell the people how they could find you.

Melissa

So I'm on Facebook, Melissa Parsons Coaching, Instagram, which is Coach Melissa Parsons MD. My website, melissaparsonscoaching.com. I'm everywhere. I'm all over the place.

How can people find you, Laura, for my listeners?

Laura

I'm on Instagram at Laura Conley Coaching. You're and you guys are obviously podcast listeners, so you can listen to Lose Weight for the Last Time with Laura Conley. And really, you guys, I mean, you guys get this, but the work that you do in inside the podcast or inside my program is so similar to like what Melissa is teaching. It's kind of like if you do this self-love work and you become your favorite self, like the weight loss just is a byproduct. My clients are like, you just tricked me into all this self-love shit. I was like, I was like, be skinny and hot. And they were like, OK and now they're like. God, I'm so nice now. I just love myself. My husband is obsessed with me. It's so weird. I was like, I know it was a trick. You're welcome.

So my podcast, Instagram and my website is lauraconley.com. And that's it. That's the spiel.

Melissa

I love it. Thank you so much for interviewing me and chatting and all the fun things.

Laura

Oh my God, it was so fun. Well, I knew it would be fun. I was just like, I'm like, who would be fun to talk to? 

Melissa

I'm so glad that this is your life's goal and I fit into it.

Laura

Yeah. A+, Melissa, for you too.

Melissa

Thank you.

Laura

Thank you so much. It was so fun.

Melissa

Yes. Thanks.

Laura

OK. Bye, everybody. Have the best week ever.

Hey everyone, it's still me, Melissa Parsons, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for tuning in to these episodes.

While I hope you found value in this short time together, I have some exciting news for those of you who might be craving more. If you're ready to take the next step in your personal growth journey, I would like to invite you to join me for an incredible workshop on Thursday, December 12th, 2024 at 7:00 PM Eastern. This is your chance to dive deep and start to transform your life with the support of a caring mentor. That's me.

Do any of these resonate with you? You might feel like you've stopped dreaming about your life. You might not know what you want anymore. You might know what you want, but something keeps holding you back. If you nodded your head to any of these, or all of these, then this workshop is tailor-made for you.

Together, we'll uncover the reasons behind your struggles, help you make sense of why you've done what you've done so far, and equip you with the tools and strategies to break through the barriers and reclaim some curiosity, compassion, confidence, and calm going forward.

In this Figure Out What You Want workshop, we'll walk through 5 powerful steps to help high achievers like you go from frustration to ease. You'll gain clarity, reignite your passion, and leave with the beginning road map to creating the life you truly want.

This time of year is busy, so claim these two hours on your calendar for yourself now. Head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com/workshop to sign up for the workshop now. And hey, why not bring a friend along? Honestly, the more the merrier. I can't wait to connect with you live, answer your questions, and celebrate any breakthroughs. Let's make some magic happen together. See you on December 12th.