Bonus Episode: Handling Our Despair

In this bonus episode, I imperfectly share my thoughts and feel my feelings to help all of us as we attempt to figure out what to do when things fucking suck.

I encourage all of you to feel your feelings today. Your feelings are not wrong or worthless. You don't need to power through them and pretend they aren't there.

Take the time to feel the fear and despair and recognize that doing so is the only way to make it so we are able to get up and work toward what we want going forward.

Click HERE for the full show notes. 

Transcript

Hey, this is Melissa Parsons, and you are listening to the Your Favorite You Podcast. I'm a certified life coach with an advanced certification in deep dive coaching. The purpose of this podcast is to help brilliant women like you with beautiful brains create the life you've been dreaming of with intentions. My goal is to help you find your favorite version of you by teaching you how to treat yourself as your own best friend.

If this sounds incredible to you and you want practical tips on changing up how you treat yourself, then you're in the right place. Just so you know, I'm a huge fan of using all of the words available to me in the English language, so please proceed with caution if young ears are around.

So my people have been asking for my words. Basically, to try to help them figure out what to do when things fucking suck. And because you're listening to this podcast, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

So, here are my unedited thoughts:

That number one, it's okay to feel all of your feelings, right now, none of them can actually hurt you. And what does that mean? Right now that means that I am outside in nature, on a kind of rainy fall day and I am just letting my tears fall and I'm not making it wrong. I'm not trying to avoid it. I'm not pretending that I'm not sad and scared right now.

And believe it or not, that actually letting those feelings be there and be part of me without telling myself that I don't have time to feel my feelings, that it's worthless to feel my feelings, that it's not going to change anything. For me to be one person out here feeling my feelings is actually making me feel better.

The second thing that I'm going to do today is that I am going to actually take some time to journal and to be with my feelings. I'm going to talk to my fear in my journaling, and I'm going to ask it what it wants me to know. And I'm going to give it as much time as it needs to talk to me. And then any time that fear comes up, over the next couple weeks, months, years, decades, whatever, I'm going to give that fear a voice. And again, I'm not going to try to exile it. I'm not going to try to power through it. I'm not going to try to pretend that it's not happening. I'm going to give it a voice.

The third thing, I'm already doing it, is being out in nature. I recognize this morning that as with all the other days, the sun rose, although it's behind clouds, it's trying to peek out at me right now. The birds were chirping. The wind is blowing. And life goes on. Until it doesn't. And then we grieve that too.

I've lost count. Maybe this is the fourth thing. I have set myself up to be a well-resourced person and consequently, I have a group coaching call with one of my coaches today in about a half hour. I better speed this walk up. And I'm going to ask for support on that call, whether it's me that raises my hand and gets coaching, I am certain that there are going to be other powerful women and perhaps a few good men on the call today. And even if I don't raise my hand, I will have some healing in the coaching that they're given by our coach bed.

Fifth, I'm going to remember that I am a helper. And like Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers. I get to coach one of my groups of women today. I get to coach the other one tomorrow. And they are powerful badasses. And I'm sure that we will cry, myself included, I'm sure. And we will laugh. And I'm sure that we will give each other compassion, empathy, a place to be seen and heard and understood. And it is, of course, my great honor that I get to lead them through the pain of this. So look for the helpers. They are there.

I think I might also offer a group coaching call for any of my former clients, any of you, my followers, if you want to come to the call, I would probably have you register. I'll send out a Zoom link. It'll probably be later this week at some point.

And then I think I'm going to remind myself that I did everything within my power to make this not happen. From talking to my friends and my one neighbor, you know who you are. Hi, Margie. To writing postcards over, I don't know, there was about 200 of them to voters in North Carolina to remind them to vote. I made donations to the campaigns of the people that I wanted to see be victorious. And I also did some phone banking this past week, over the past seven days-ish. And that really helped me through my anxiety leading up to the election.

And then I'm going to remind myself that I have three amazing men, a mom, a sister, brother-in-law, who all love me. And I have so many friends who can be a support to me and I can be a support to them.

And then we keep fighting for what we believe in. We keep talking about it. We're not silent. Don't let anyone dim our light. Even if our light feels so fucking dim right now. Just remember that it is still flickering there within you. And when you feel ready, you have control of the dimmer switch on that light. And you can choose to turn it up to share kindness, compassion, empathy, love, understanding, acceptance for those that need it.

I think that's all I have today. I'm sure there will be more in the coming weeks and I will organize myself and share with you once I have something more coherent to say.

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you to everyone who reached out this past week telling me that they were finding comfort in listening to my podcast. Thank you to Miss Sara, who messaged me this morning asking me which episodes she should listen to, which, of course, made me want to record this for you.

I'm sorry that it is not the normal audio quality that you're used to, but I care more about getting this out to you than I do about it being perfect. So let that be a lesson to you all and go out there and love your people imperfectly today.

Until next time, bye.

Hey, don't go just yet.

Since you're listening to this podcast, you might be one of us who has followed all the rules and ticked off all the boxes, but you still feel like something's missing. If you're ready to learn the skills and gain the tools that you need to put yourself first without guilt and start to treat yourself as your own best friend, I'm here to support you.

As a certified life coach, I provide a safe space, compassionate guidance, and practical tools to help you navigate life's challenges and embrace your true self. I'm inviting you to join my next group, which starts on Thursday, January 9th, 2025. 

We'll work together to develop a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You'll learn effective communication strategies, boundary setting techniques, and self-care practices that will help you to cultivate a more loving and supportive relationship with yourself first, so that then you can go on to do that with others.

While of course I cannot guarantee specific outcomes, everyone's journey is unique, what I can promise is my unwavering commitment to providing you with the skills, tools, support, and guidance that you need to create lasting change in your life.

With more than a sprinkle of humor, some perfectly placed swear words, and a lot of compassion, I'll be available to mentor you as you do the work to become a favorite version of yourself.

If you're ready to invest in yourself and embark upon this journey, head over to melissaparsonscoaching.com. Go to the Work With Me page and book a consultation call. We can chat about your challenges and how I can support you.

Like I said, we start in January. We will meet on Thursdays at 12:30 PM Eastern Time for six months, starting on January 9th.

Can't wait to see you there.